profile

Adam Murauskas

What You Seek Is Seeking You đź”®

Published about 2 months ago • 1 min read

Notes From a Relationship Coach
​(Big ideas in a small email)

“When the time slows, notice where your mind goes. Focus on the eye where the lotus of the mind grows. Here, you will find holes in the blindfolds of your well-defined roles… go behind those.”

–Adam Enough, What You Seek​

In my formative years, seeking connection too often resulted in pain and humiliation, and seeking protection was equally awful and traumatic. So it makes sense why I’ve had big NO THANKS energy all my life.

My nervous system decided it just wasn’t a good idea to want, need, or expect anything from anyone. Ever. And obviously, juvenile diabetes poured gasoline on that self-reliance-or-die philosophy.

But in recent attempts to work with my grizzly soul-wounds (still a work in progress), I’ve reconnected with men in a new way (where much of my abuse came from) and have made efforts to find a YES PLEASE behind each no-thanks-shaped wall.

So I make friends with a guy who casually asks if I do anything musically. I tell him I used to, but haven’t recorded in like a decade. Turns out dude is an insanely talented producer who needs a lyricist to frolic on his masterpieces.

Yes, please.

We’ve recorded three songs inside of two months, and What You Seek is a collaboration with my new friend and another amazing producer. This will be our first official release (available Feb 1 on all streaming platforms). You can listen for free or purchase at the above link.

Obviously, I don’t expect anyone to, haha. But mannnnnn, it would be cool if you did.

Thank you for being on this journey with me,

If an amazing friend forwarded you this email, you can subscribe here.
If YOU are an amazing friend, go on and forward this thang.

Adam Murauskas

Relationship Coach at FixYourPicker.com

Help me help you. Sign up to receive free relationship coaching content.

Read more from Adam Murauskas
Cover of John Bradshaw's book, Healing The Shame That Binds You

Notes From a Relationship Coach(Big ideas in a small email) “With a false self, intimacy is impossible.” –John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame That Binds You There is a certain, finite amount of what I have and what I am able to give to a relationship. I cannot give something I do not have, nor can I give MORE than what I have to give – more time, energy, money, attention, effort, whatever. We have actual limits. And it may be that someone is looking for something DIFFERENT or MORE than who I am...

2 days ago • 1 min read
Cover of David Foster Wallace's book Infinite Jest

Notes From a Relationship Coach(Big ideas in a small email) Your partner is simply the “excuse or occasion for meeting the self.” –David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest In this novel, DFW is actually talking about a tennis opponent. But the line was practically begging to be co-opted for my newsletter. It’s relatively easy to “manage” relationships with strangers, friends, family, coworkers, and people you see in particular contexts (long-distance relationships can fit into that category). You...

9 days ago • 1 min read
Cover of Jasmin Lee Cori's book The Emotionally Absent Mother

Notes From a Relationship Coach(Big ideas in a small email) “Without our caretakers’ protection, our only protection is to stay small and build defensive structures into our personality.” –Jasmin Lee Cori, The Emotionally Absent Mother If you didn’t feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure as a kid, there’s a strong chance you needed to adapt – perhaps some version of “staying small,” flying below the radar, not wanting or needing anything, etc. There are innumerable defensive structures we may...

16 days ago • 1 min read