Notes From a Relationship Coach
​(Big ideas in a small email)

“Healing’s true victories rarely look like triumph; they look like ordinary life finally becoming bearable.”

–Tamara, Stop Performing Healing​

The Wellness Industrial Complex paints a lotta pretty pictures of what healing should look like. And if you’re not out here “living your best life” and “manifesting” or “transforming” something or other, you might get the impression you’re doing it wrong.

Not necessarily true.

I believe the most “healed” you will ever be is when you:

👉 Deeply know, understand, accept, love, and trust your whole self (senses, emotions, thoughts, intuition, values, experiences) without judgment, control, or performance.

👉 Are able to stay connected to that self, to simply BE WITH your reality – good, bad, or indifferent.

👉 Can share that self and that reality with others without pretense or Instagram filters.

In the words of Pete Walker… “I believe the quality of our emotional intelligence is reflected in the degree to which we accept all of our feelings without automatically dissociating from them or expressing them in a way that hurts ourselves or others.”

It’s really an inside job. Doesn’t need to be shiny, impressive, or even noticeable to anyone at all.

If you have to explain a joke, it’s probably not funny.

If you have to explain how healed you are, ya prolly ain’t.

Let's pump the brakes, y’all.

P.S. If you’re looking for an incredible writer, check out Tamara’s Substack page Museguided. This is not affiliate marketing – I get nothing if you click that link except the joy of knowing you’re boutta discover a GEM of a human being.

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