Notes From a Relationship Coach
​(Big ideas in a small email)

“Siblings who would be natural allies in childhood trauma most often become estranged, alienated, and even enemies.”

–Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal​

There is much talk of abandonment, ghosting, emotional unavailability, setting boundaries, "going no contact," and so forth. But we seldom speak of estrangement as such. Last night I hosted a discussion on the topic and boy was it rich.

Obviously, I made a Venn Diagram... 😅

Even though my entire family tree was fed into a wood-chipper that blew mulch across several continents, I may have been the first to ever acknowledge that elephant in the room. People we spoke about but never knew. Those we knew but never spoke about. Cultural disinheritance. Minus-ones at weddings. The disowned, uninvited, and mysteriously absent. A final will and testament that never turned up.

Estrangement can range from the friend who stops calling to disconnection on a vast, profound, existential scale. Sometimes it's the wound; other times it's the medicine; often it's both.

I won't suggest you need to "do" anything about it. But I do believe it's healthy to look at it, feel it, name it, and acknowledge it. And, as I discovered last night, it feels really good to talk about it with someone who understands.

Big hugs,

P.S. If you wanna process something, get unstuck, peel back a fresh layer of growth, or do full blown soul-surgery, I just had a couple spots open up on my calendar. Reply "FREE CONSULTATION" to this email and we'll set up a coffee date next week.

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