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Adam Murauskas

Thank You Very Much (Ya Jerk!) 🤭

Published 26 days ago • 1 min read

Notes From a Relationship Coach
​(Big ideas in a small email)

“you. not wanting me. was the beginning of me wanting myself. thank you. –– the hurt”

–Nayyirah Waheed, salt.​

I try not to peddle bright sides and silver linings, but pain is a great motivator; rejection asks you to pick a side. Each time an outer relationship fails, it draws our attention inward.

Arguably, all things contain a doorway back to ourselves.

I can’t think of a single relationship that hasn’t taught me about me… that hasn’t required me to show up for myself in a new way… that hasn’t urged me to want, like, love, understand, value, or respect myself more.

Now, I don’t think every breakup needs to be a breakthrough or every rejection a revolution. But I believe there’s usually a gift or a lesson in there if you’re paying attention.

In the school of Nonviolent Communication, there are four ways to receive a negative message:

•Blame yourself
•Blame others
•Sense your own feelings and needs
•Sense others’ feelings and needs

Obviously, the first two options suck and cannot enrich your life in any way. But learning about the feelings and needs of yourself and others??? Well… that’s perhaps the most life-enriching thing you can do.

👉 Download the free NVC Feelings and Needs Inventory
​👉 Or my favorite NVC Feelings Wheel​

Stop keeping score or playing “Find the bad guy” and use your relationships as a way to connect with what’s most alive inside of YOU (beyond judgments, stories, fears, projections, and interpretations).

I sincerely hope you are well,

P.S. Ever thought about working with me one-on-one? Do you suspect it could be really helpful but don’t even know where to start? Are you still waiting for a sign that looks signier than the last five signs? Reply “YES” to this email and we can set up a free consultation. No pressure. Just for fun. 😊

*This email contains Amazon affiliate links to the books mentioned.

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Adam Murauskas

Relationship Coach at FixYourPicker.com

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