Notes From a Relationship Coach
​(Big ideas in a small email)

“Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.”

–James Clear, Atomic Habits​

This is my 100th N.F.A.R.C. y’all. Not gonna lie, it feels kinda special.

I started working at 10 years old. Had two jobs by 9th grade. Bought a car at 15. Paid for 11 years of college, and when I still couldn’t make a living wage after 12 years teaching high school math and physics, I moved to a foreign country, learned a second language, built FixYourPicker.com, and started churning out daily content and working one-on-one with people to transform their lives and relationships.

Parallel to my struggle to survive financially, Type 1 Diabetes imposed a lifelong fight for literal survival – actively managing medical scares and averting death on a daily basis (I hope you never know how utterly exhausting this is). Not to mention the operating costs of living with a failed internal organ.

Furthermore… I started seeing therapists around 10 years old, got sober at 23, and have been doing all of the AA, CODA, CBT, TRE, EMDR, EFT, SE, RTT, JAMP, IFS, NVC, XYZ, and LMNOP I could get my hands on. All the woo-woo, spiritual, meditation, prayer, yoga, silent retreat, reiki, craniosacral, mystical zen whatnots. Everything.

I read Booker T. Washington’s Up from Slavery when I was a boy (always deeply resonated with the struggle). In that book, he writes:

“I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in his life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”

That quote has lived in my soul ever since.

By any external metric of material success, I have very little to show for my 42 years on earth. But the odds and obstacles I’ve clawed my way through with a smile on my face place me cleanly among the ranks of walking miracles and astonishing MF’ers.

I don’t subscribe to hustle culture, nor do I believe exhaustion is a badge of honor. I live a remarkably simple and minimalistic lifestyle. But I have apparently been committed to a regular habit of doing my best to make things better for myself and others for a long time.

On any one day, it doesn’t feel that impressive. But when I look over my cumulative efforts… yeah, it’s kind of a big deal.

So today, I celebrate my success.

Love,

*This email contains Amazon affiliate links to the books mentioned.

If an amazing friend forwarded you this email, you can subscribe here.
If YOU are an amazing friend, go on and forward this thang.

​​​​​