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Adam Murauskas

This Is My Emotional Lie-Detector Test 🤥

Published about 1 month ago • 1 min read

Notes From a Relationship Coach
​(Big ideas in a small email)

“When someone really hears you… it feels damn good.”

–Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person​

A client asked me about dating a rich guy who wanted to fly her places for dates that involved yachts, horses, champaign, and the like. Very exciting stuff, obviously… but how do you cut through all that noise to suss out a serial killer, narcissist, or dullard?

I told her to get that sucker on a park bench for an hour or two – far away from his stock portfolio – and see what his authentic human connection game is like.

•Can he simply BE with you? Or is he constantly reaching for something?
•Does he ask questions? Interrupt? Listen? Monologue? Seem comfortable with silence?
•Is your connection enough? Or is it only tolerable in Fiji?

If you can’t have a wonderful date on a park bench, bro might be an empty suit. And his Rolex for sure ain’t gonna meet your emotional needs.

Not to imply there’s anything wrong with fancy things and fun adventures. Just don’t base your relationship on something that’s not relational.

That’s how you starve to death at a buffet.

…

Give someone The Park Bench Test – a new love interest or a spouse of 20 years – and tell me about it. I LOVE data.

May the emotional attunement be with you,

*This email contains Amazon affiliate links to the books mentioned.

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Adam Murauskas

Relationship Coach at FixYourPicker.com

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