Notes From a Relationship Coach
​(Big ideas in a small email)

“Good relationships get better with work. Bad relationships need constant work just to stay the same. The trick is knowing which kind of relationship you’re working on.”

–Mark Manson

New love is usually exciting, magical, and delicious... but ideally, your relationship doesn’t start at an all-time-high (and gradually roll downhill). It's unfortunate how relevant we make those early days.

Swiping through virtually infinite profiles on dating apps (relationshopping) perpetuates the assumption that you’ll be able to spot what you’re looking for in resumes and photos. Or even that you’re looking for something entirely outside of yourself.

Because who you are as individuals isn’t nearly as important as who you are when you come together.

Do you feel seen, valued, encouraged, inspired, empowered?
Do you expand and become more yourself?

Or do you feel invisible, insignificant, judged, discouraged, disempowered?
Do you shrink and become less of who you really are?

My sweet friend Bonnie recently said, “Maybe that’s what love is – when people reflect back what you love about yourself.”

I couldn't agree more.

But the question remains... do your efforts tend to improve your relationship or just make it tolerable? Why is that?

Something to think about,

P.S. Here’s one of my favorite stories (if this email was too short for your likings): Lessons from a Gnarly Breakup.

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